possibility

Sometimes, the very best thing you can do is just cry.

It's 1:30 in the morning and I'm drinking coffee.

I've gone to bed after 1 a.m. every night since Saturday.

I am right back to mid-August when I was packing up to leave, and there were a million things to do and twenty minutes to do them all in.

I have a long, great list of people who I am going to miss.

I'm nervous about wherever I'm going next.

I hate goodbyes.

I have a 60+ page project I'm working on, and I don't feel like it'll ever be finished. The problem is it has to be done in six hours when I leave to go to my real job.

Tomorrow morning it's done. Gone. Finished.

And I am going to have a panic attack.

I don’t want to give it up. I don’t want to be finished and move into that awful stage of “retrospection.” I want to keep the report and "edit the hell out of it" (thanks, Boone).

BUT THEY WON'T LET ME.

And in the same, sad, sentimental vein, I have to leave my kids and my work. I have to finish. I have to walk away. I have to say good-bye and leave.

And I am panicking.

I don't want to always be in this position of saying goodbye. Didn't I just do this?

I am a classic case of avoidance. I want to just throw the report out a window and be done with it. I want to not care.

But I can't. So I'm drinking coffee.

this has the potential to be AMAZING...

Ver a Christmas miracle en un mapa más grande

blank with fear

I smoke crack.

BAM.

How’s that for a hook?!?!

Oh, I am shameless. I should have thought of a better way to introduce the most recent scare in my life: I put bungee jumping on My List. I’m sorry I didn’t come up with a more intelligent hook, but I have been too busy crapping my pants.

Also crude … snap.

Ok no, but seriously. I took a look at my long-neglected list last night, and what do you know … No. 72: BUNGEE JUMP.

When I was 18, I woke up one morning and thought, “Hey, I want to get a tattoo.” Then, three months later, I woke up another morning and thought, “Hey I want to go sky-diving.”

I am OK with spontaneity and adrenaline. But I have said, on numerous occasions, that the one thing I’ll never do is bungee jump.

Have you SEEN the videos of the cord wrapping itself around the jumper’s neck?!?! If your parents didn’t religiously watch extreme-sport horror stories on Spike T.V., click here (actually I'm not even going to link it. I've been crude enough for one entry).

But I’ve seen them.

{however, I will leave you with my favorite bungee video I found}

So the only solution to my insanity must be that I smoke crack.

But at least if this happens:




















I'll just remember that one time I read over this.

deserves its own entry

Today I had the opportunity to quote Dumbledore in my Literature class.

Success.

hey up there, you're pretty

Anything look different?

bahahaha ... YES.

My dear friend Natalie made this for me. She is very talented at making watercolors, typography, quoting “Freaks and Geeks”, mixing the contents to “my cookies”, making coffee, listening, and being awesome.

Here’s to her!

Also, I’ve been inundating my students with Christmas Music de Estados Unidos.

Sample here.

* OH! and p.s. ... I updated my right-sided-link-of-a-list ... if you are interested.

FAIL

*Don't worry, I realize I wrote "Philippians" (edited) ... like from The Bible ... Double Fail.

I wish I was one of those people who was good at The Care Package.

You know, the type of person who is always sending out little "Oh, I saw this and thought of you" gifts, wrapped in cardboard and postage stamps and sent across state lines (MVPs in this area would be Abby and Leslye).

I'm terrible. I don't even think I've bought a birthday present in like three years or something.

As we speak, I've even failed at sending my address to the people who've asked for it, so that they can send me a little gift-y-poo.

Oh don't worry, I'm a sentimental sap. Give me a box of pictures and come find me three hours later, lying on my floor and sobbing for childhood years gone by.

I remember Abby sent me a care package from the Philippines. Ball breaker. I mean, the Philippines are like, underwater or something, right? How could she possibly have had time, or resources, to send me gifts? (joke. calm down.)

So here's to the hypothetical* care package:

-Abby :: an authentic, Guatemalan, leather bracelet, complete with braiding and red dye; a first-edition copy of "Terribly Funny Essays by Kids Who Don't Speak English Good and are in Linda's Classes"; a postcard of me with hot, granola-looking, dread-locked men

-Melissa :: a copy of "Twilight" in Spanish; a video of my 10th grade homeroom performing a number from "Glee"

-Meg :: my life to live vicariously through; and the aforementioned essay compilation

-Natalie :: all the books we've read in my classes; an audio-recording of the songs I sing on the way to work

-340 :: tea ... just lots and lots of bags of tea ... but that say "Guatemala" on the packaging; the audio-recording to Boone and I arguing about "Lost"; typical "I traveled to a Latin American country" friendship bracelets

-Faust, Dad and Janice :: this T-shirt ... just not really from e-bay.

-Kelley, Zac, Chris K., and anyone in Nashville :: this.

-Cynthia :: Season One of this.

-Beth, Lisa, Karen, Lindsey, and every friend with a baby :: these.

-As for everyone else, a postcard of me ... drowning in the Pacific.









































*In honor of proverbial

down with the ebook

I’m kind of (really) in love with Jacob Black and Ron Weasley.

Let’s discuss.

1) They are both fictional literary characters.
2) Both are written as 16-year-old boys.
3) Both are the secondary male characters in their respective works.
4) In their movies, both are played by 17-year-old actors.
5) I am NOT the only mid-20s woman who feels this way.

What is WRONG with us?

In other news ::: FLATMANCROOKED ::: I like this.